The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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Diarrhea

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

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Why did the Olympic gold-medalist lose his faith in God? Because he began to feel that the the reasoning that most religions were based on was fairly spurious.

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Politics

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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