What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

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What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem used for seasoning food, and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

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what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

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Whats better than giving birth to a disabled son? A Blowjob

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops