What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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A Jewish person was found dead in an alley way last night, Hitler did nothing wrong.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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Robin, get in the batmobile

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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I'm tired.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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