Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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Whats worse than a joke? This

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops