why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

Homo say what?

What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

João Duarte reads this.

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

OMG I was sexting my friend and I accidentally sent my naked picture to my parents. What do I do? Tell your friend that you accidentally sent your naked picture to your parents.

How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...