happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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That's illegal What? Your mom

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An underage man walks into a bar. He then was shot and kicked out of the bar. An overage person found the body. What age is he? Normal Age

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Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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What's 1+1? 69.

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A baby seal walks into a club. The man holding the club skins him and makes a lot of money.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dracula." "Dracula who?" He pulls his cape up to his face and says, "May the force be with you,"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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