Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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what did the fart say to the butt........bye

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A white guy a black guy and a mexican are in a car and the car crashes and blowes up who dies? They all die cuz they all were in the car when it blew up

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A man walks into the bar and ask the bartender for a shot of vodka. He drinks the vodka.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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