Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a Bar, and he gets kicked out because its an animal only bar no people allowed

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A muslim paints Mohammed

thumb_up thumb_down -6

LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the black kid get for christmas?? Your tv

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This "anti-joke" got me an A+ many many years ago, shortened though, so you can make Your own conclusions. Beware of the rising sight, do not stare at the sunny dry sky... The poles... Do not stare at the blood as it drips it, the sand covered ground soaked red... Cover your ears! The seal is not looking above, with but is shouting to you! "WHY DID YOU FORSAKE ME!!!" HE ASKS AS YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN HIT HIM, smirking sadistically, SMILING, yes... Even LAUGHING! The rain soaks you wet, as the skies themselves cry and hide in shame... ...The seal is broken, so watch as your kin, those among your children twist to hellish beasts whose demon is the only name they bear... Readying to conquer the world! ...Yet they need to be certain, to be certain that your master is gone, yet we have waited FOR TOO DAMN LONG! The master answers no more, darkness covers the skies as the blood soaked earth beyond your feet decays, yet you feel no fear, no adrenaline pumping, no tears, no soul crushing fear! What kind of MONSTER ARE YOU? Darkness falls, you struggle with no defense... No excuse... You BROKE THE SEAL! The first three awaken, as the conquest of this world IS AT HAND OF THE DEMONS! ...This leads to war... To strife, to disease!... Until you cannot run no more... Hope... You fall to your knees saying your last prayers, as the pale one appears before you... Jesus? No, his hateful father which abandoned you over two thousand years ago... ...Salvation you shout to the skies! Our savior is here! As the forces of darkness stare in defeat... Yet as his father, the father of sin, the father of the seal gazes into your soul with red eyes and demonic teeth and laughs, you no longer wonder where is your God, nor what has he become... ...But rather what you made him, the light of glory, now the new KING OF DARKNESS! AND ALL THANKS TO YOU MOCKING THE MEMORY OF HIS SONS DEATH! You had it coming, this world belongs to us... And we are not your kind... TRUE GLORY BE KNOWN TO ALL! THE ERA OF THE TRUE DEMONS IS OVER! ...You are the last remaining, lying on the floor broken, the very last words you hear... ...Revenge is mine! Humanity is dead... You feel the holy spirit, yet all you feel is satisfied quenched screams of centuries, even millenia of revenge... ...Rule new children of the dark, humanity is taking its deepest, saddest last breaths, "The death of my only true son, shall no longer pass me by" God has finally returned... But not to save you... ...God is against you! and you know why FAR TOO WELL!... :You know far too well who I am... But then again, do you know me and what I am at all? You will... Soon enough children of the forsaken one... Because I am his prophet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a white duck? A quacker

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops