One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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kennah campion when she talks

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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Why were there a series of riots in london? The police shot and killed a man who was threatening them and thus caused his friends to get angry and caused other people to lose control.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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