Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

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Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Kys

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops