"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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69

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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