Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Hey I just banged you, and it was crazy, delete my number, and keep the baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

thumb_up thumb_down +30

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops