Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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Why did the boy stay in the closet? Because the door was locked.

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Did you hear about the guy who got run over? Me neither

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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