"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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how does wasabi stay open during summer because tiffany is a nice person

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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POLITE NOTICE: Management Committee here. Please refrain from posting any anti-jokes which are not offensive to protected groups.

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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tee hee

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why was Ralph depressed? Because his family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn’t quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family’s murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family’s killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer’s whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers’ home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers’ body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn’s life didn’t, and wouldn’t, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him “You’re finally home Ralph, you’re finally home.”

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! 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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! 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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! 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RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT MY ATHORITAH! RESPECT

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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When life gives you lemons ....go murder a clown.

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what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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