What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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I'm not wearing underwear. Why? Because I have built in underwear. :)

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

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A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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