A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

guess what? WHAT? Idk.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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