Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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You know what's cool? Yep.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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What is funnier than 24 69

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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11/9 Americans won't get this joke.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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