Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

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You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme others don't.

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Q: What is red and green and goes 100/mph? A: A frog in a blender

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Heroshima

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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