What starts with Pu and ends with Y, And homosexuals tend not to like them. "Pushy" People.

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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Kyle grund parker coffey

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http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

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What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

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What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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