Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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whats a joke

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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