a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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Why did the fat guy ride his camel to the grocery store? Because he didn't want to walk to the grocery store

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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irish man drinking john smiths

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Why did Sally ask for ketchup? She wanted to use it on her french fries.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops