Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

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What is white, sticky, and something that gay people and women love? Frosting.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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My three children are three big mistakes.

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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homosexual rights to marriage

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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