Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One you can smash with a hammer and the other is just a watermelon.

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24

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what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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Why was the black guy so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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