teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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Why did Sandra fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock Who is there? Not Sandra

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Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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how would you feel when your girlfriend dumps you really bad because she just dumped you man!!!1

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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