Prince of bell air with Keanu Reeves: SMIIIIIIIIIIITH! DID YOU DESTROY MY COUCH? Neo: ... WELL DID YOU BOTHER CARLTON DOING HIS STUFF? Neo... Will you shut up then? ... Intro: This, is my story, read the text, thank you.

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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A Serbian Film

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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