If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she believes in God. While her faith has absolutely nothing to do with her intelligence and in 2014 only the most bigoted and stupid people would demean people based on their religion,she does have an IQ of 65 and is therefore believed to be mentally inadequate. It's really quite sad.

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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