- Anti Joke

saw a free cat yesterday...it was dead on the side of the road

What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

Knock Knock. Shut up.

A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

Chuck Norris got hit by a train. It was a very bloody and sad incident and he will be missed.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

A young penguin walks into a bar with tears streaming down his face. "Whats wrong with you?" asks the barman. "I've lost my Dad", says the Penguin. The barman asks, "What's he look like?"

What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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