A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Q: y does obama keep raising gas prices A: he dosent want anyone to be able to drive to the poles in november

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Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

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Why did the black man not get to go to the party that was filled with all white people? His mother had recently died and so he had proceeded to go to his mother's funeral instead of heading to his white bestfriend's party.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Santa isn't real

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Ben Affleck

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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