how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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alert("Hello");

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

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A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops