So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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