Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the Black Boy shot? It was because he was walking alone at night in a dangerous neighborhood, where there are many gangs. People should know not to go alone at night in dangerous places, or even in the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are trees green? I have no idea

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You had better thumbs up this post.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

thumb_up thumb_down +9

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops