A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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Q: why does the fire breather hate his job A: his parents were burned to death MR

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops