There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

penis. nuff said.

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Then none of us want to be right.

What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

So these two girls have a cup .

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...