Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? I don't eat pizza

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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What do you call the Flintstones if they were black? N****rs

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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KARL KARASHIAN - FACEBOOK

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

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John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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