What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Helena: Can u get me a pencil? Me: Sure. Me: Mr. Brandmeyer can u give me a pencil? Mr. Brandmeyer: Why? Me: I don't know. That's what Helena said.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Start running Cuz ima F*** you Runn Forest Runn! Jubie

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A beautoful poem: Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun! gimme all your money!

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What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS i'm about to die

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What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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