Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

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Why do so many people troll on the internet? Because Hitler was awesome!

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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A man recently set the world record for jumping into a foot of water from 50 feet high. Luckily, this made the clean-up rather simple.

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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