What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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a irish man walks past a bar

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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