A black person dies.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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Antijokes...

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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Penis

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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