Are you gay. No. Ok.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops