Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

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When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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