I love you

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What did the blonde say when she saw a box of cheerios? "Lovely, I think I'll have some of these for breakfast today. The wholegrain will be good for me."

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops