Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

find the o 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duh its up top

a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

if got a joke if fogot it

Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

Robin, get in the car!

My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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