Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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Your life

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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What do you call a place full of large volumes of random, unwanted knowledge? The usersub on this site.

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One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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