How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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Knock Knock The doors already open

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What was the asian person's name? I don't know, I never met him.

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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