What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Hey Shea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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