How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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