Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo

Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

Want to hear a joke? No.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I hi Jacked your car And killed your family

What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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