What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

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What did Batman tell Robin when they got to Gotham City? -Robin, we got to Gotham City.

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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nothing

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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you give like i give lomain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops