Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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A jew, a homosexuel and a black guy are on a plane. It crashes and they all die in horrible circumstances.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops