This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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what do a pizza and a jew have in common? they both burn in an oven

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

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Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

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Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

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Well, you see, I'm an extractor fan.

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Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways? Good question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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