You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your wife has been killed in a car accident.

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you call a man who does not burst into tears after hearing that his mother has died? A person that has been desensitized by today's cruel world and society.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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