Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

It's okay, I got the yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

women rights

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a man checks his mypsace

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops