ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops