Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? As they can't find any, they are just squirrels, they can not asist little timmy choking on the lightbulb rolling around on the floor.

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why do police kill so many young black men in America? it's a difficult question that deserves a thoughtful response. many complex issues are at play, but we also feel a sense that something must be done. we cannot ignore some of the forces at work here, yet we cannot all personally take responsibility, either. or maybe he wanted to steal his girl. that shit really happens. THAT SHIT LEGIT HAPAPNES.

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

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What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

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When you have read this, you've already read it.

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Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops