Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The Earth is a nice place to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did joe drown ? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

thumb_up thumb_down +5

did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops