How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE HAVING A MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION? Dead

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not sally

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops